Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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