talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
