Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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