Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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