Do you still have your period?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
