You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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