worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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