Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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