this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
