hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
