This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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