There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
