I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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