I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
