New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I looked at my own cervix.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
