these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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