i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
