My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
