Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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