we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
