you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
