you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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