my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
