I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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