I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
