I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
420 ftw
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
