I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
