It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
