this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Dear god my vagina.
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