I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
3 2 1 whiskey
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
