$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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