at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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