Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
