Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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