oh god the rape fog is back!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize