I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
