Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
