I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
