At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
