this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
