That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize