My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
