I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
