why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There's always time for handjobs
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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