If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
