Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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