Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Randomize
