your thong is hanging out like whoa
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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