found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
