I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
