I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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