Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
