I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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